Yoooooooooooooo! Your sex is on fire…

Sorry I just happen to have this on my headphones, thus the blog entry title this week.

I’m being stalked is the first item on the agenda this week. A neighbour of mine comes and sits on my front lawn every day and stares through my kitchen window. He’s been doing this for about 2 years and nobody else seems to care.

This picture of Billy my next door neighbour was taken last Tuesday afternoon and…

… this photo of Billy was taken on Wednesday afternoon. He never blinks or moves. He’s proper freaky. Anyway on Thursday afternoon I went through to take another photo for my blog and something else caught my eye

Yippee Ki Yay Mother Feline Fooker! Yep they’re moving 😀

I’ve not managed to get a photo of the poncey grey cat who thinks he’s James Bond yet (due to the need to fight him every time I see him) but I will do. I think I won the last round, he hasn’t been around for a day or so.

Some say I should get a job and stop being the rallying point for the neighbourhood’s cats, but I say if not me then who? Hmm?

Last night at the Pig and Whistle was absolutely outstanding. About 25 avas there and we had such a laugh. I kept it simple and did indie anthems and took a nice photo of all of the beautiful people.

So if you’re not in the photo, please be assured that I’m not saying you’re not beautiful, just that you were either late (tuts) or not there and neither has a valid excuse. Make sure you’re on call for it 1pm next Monday purlease.

Which brings us to today. Last week they told me they were changing my signing on day and week to today, so I dutifully trotted along with my paper indicating all that I do to search for a relevant role and sat reading the Times Education Supplement while I waited to be called. (I wonder why they don’t provide appropriate materials, I mean something with more pictures, or indeed, more jobs, but I digress).

A young chap called my name and I went over and I won’t give you the whole conversation, because frankly, you wouldn’t believe me if I told you, but I swear, what is below is gospel

YOUNG MAN: Would this job here have been working actually for the agency?
MERI: No, they were handling the vacancy for an employer
YOUNG MAN: Can you try applying for more jobs with a company itself not an agency?
MERI: (Looks confused and notices Young Man staring at her rack for longer than is polite) Erm
YOUNG MAN: (Glances up) Er I mean, even if it’s only a little company
MERI: (Looks more confused) Well, the kind of job I’m after tends to be advertised through an agency
YOUNG MAN: (Stares blatantly at the twins again) My eyes hurt
MERI: Umm, is it hay fever?
YOUNG MAN: No, it’s staring at the screen all day, I hate it (manages eye contact)
MERI: Oh dear, you should focus on something far away every five minutes, it might help
YOUNG MAN: This chair is rubbish too, my back hurts, it’s the budget cuts (resumes staring at boobs)
YOUNG MAN: You must think I’m being aggressive
MERI: (choosing to ignore the last comment) Yes the budget cuts are worrying
YOUNG MAN: Next thing you know we’ll all be on tree stumps or something… Tree stumps in a wood, surrounded by Goblins
YOUNG MAN: Well (addresses this back to boobs) thank you very much
MERI: Yes, erm, thanks. Bye.

Why does this kind of thing happen to me? Why? I felt more dingy than usual on the way out.

I’d like a chorus of ‘Poor Meri’ please

Slopes off to put polo neck on during heat wave


  1. I know their jobs must be boring …. but plleeaaaasse!! That was just downright out of order. I always wanted to get a T-Shirt that said 'Thank you for noticing … but my face is 12 inches higher!!'

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