Game of Boners

I mean Game of Thrones of course… but bear with me.

If, like me until recently, you’ve never seen Game of Thrones (GoT), it’s highly possible that you are inundated by friends and well-meaning relatives assuring you that it’s something you should do.

I lost count of the amount of people who looked at me like I’d told them I ate kittens and farted into their birthday cards, when I said I hadn’t seen GoT.

There’s a quite good reason for their dismay. It’s a good show. I can safely say this after now seeing the first two seasons and being on the third. It’s also slightly addictive. Part of the reason for our galloping through watching the seasons (I’m watching it with Thom) is that there is so much happening. You can’t ever say you’re bored, it’s all happening all the time.

It’s violent and gruesome and shocking and fascinating and everyone looks like they need a good wipe down with a flannel, but hey, it’s olden times – or is it? It looks like our olden times but it’s not our times or our places and ooh, there’s a dragon – look! You getting my thrust here? It’s not your typical drama.

Anyway, yeah I concede, it’s good, but it’s not without fault and that is the reason for my blog post today. I’m going to write to Points of View (for any forin readers, you can follow this link to update yourself on what Points of View is, or you can just believe me that it is a show where people who have no sex lives write in to moan about TV programmes to a person with a face like a duck’s arse… for those of you who do remember Points of View, it’s worth watching this five minute clip from 1992 if only for the pussy jokes).

So here goes…

Dear Points of View

After spending several evenings catching up on the series “Game of Thrones”, I am forced to conclude that its riveting and somewhat controversial content may be part of the reason for its popularity.

Indeed, the sheer amount of tits I have pushed (almost literally) into my face can only be matched by the ill-assorted quims (some shaven havens and some furry lady-gardens) that usually follow shortly after. Each and every actress in the show seems to be under contract to display as much of herself as possible at the smallest provocation.

I’m no prude, Points of View, I can assure you, but it seems to me that something important is missing from this array of arses.

Cocks. In fact there have only been two nude men in the two seasons I have watched so far and both of them were comedy type characters displayed in a non-sexual way. Why would a casting director ever hire Sean Bean if not to sell a mobile phone network or to parade his penis for the camera? (Aye! cocks oot for the lasses Mr Bean). The multitudes of other male characters that get bedded regularly by nubile naked women all seem to keep their trousers on too.

I ask you, what is the world coming to? Why is it socially acceptable to view every bit of a woman and not show us the equivalent with the male cast members? I demand more members!

Forced to seek my personal gratification in other ways, I have resorted to eating chocolate ice-cream and berating myself for being fat.

Yours, disgruntled,

Whiny Merihouse

No, I'm sorry, I must remain fully dressed at all times in case you catch a glimpse of my manhood
No, I’m sorry, I must remain fully dressed at all times in case you catch a glimpse of my manhood

One thought on “Game of Boners

  1. the main reason for the lack of cock you may find is the show is aimed at the late 20s/30s fantasy loving male nerd who inbetween WoW and DnDing wants to fap to some scantily clad maidens while burly men slay a dragon

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