If I’ve ever tried to explain to someone outside of Second Life that I am in a Second Life relationship they don’t understand. They ask various questions about ‘How the relationship works’ and what they are really asking is ‘Do you have sex?’
It is perhaps what Second Life is most famous for – or so the media would like everyone to believe. News stories enumerating the various (usually horrible looking) people who frequent Second Life, discussing how they let their real life slide in a catastrophic way to pursue (sometimes adulterous) sex in SL.
In my own experience – or perhaps I should say, in my own experience of the music scene in SL to which I belong – it’s not a highly charged hotbed of sexual perversion at all. The average SL’er that I come across (oioi, that was not a double entendre) is aged 30-50, is fashion conscious and very into music, often indie music. Admittedly, I don’t spend much time at ‘Hairy Joe’s Spank Rock Palace’ and perhaps it is different out in the wider world. However, sex in Second Life remains a fascination for most people outside of our pixelated world and so I think it is time to come clean about my views on sex in SL, sex in relationships and other fabulous body explosions.
I think this whole experience will be less embarrassing if I change the names, even if one of them is my own name and you can find it elsewhere on this blog. So umm… Ok. Let’s call our characters George and Lynne after a saucy and politically incorrect British newspaper comic strip.
George and Lynne met quite innocently in an otherwise empty music club when Lynne had been in Second Life for 6 days and George for 3 weeks. George helped Lynne to get her avatar sorted and they were soon enjoying plenty of time sitting around chatting on George’s deck. George invited Lynne to move into his place after they had been out looking at rentals and hadn’t found anything Lynne liked.
Lynne filled his house and garden with ‘amazing freebie’ things which while cheap in price, had been catastrophic to his prim count and ultimately had to be taken back into her inventory. Lynne was also banned from the neighbour’s garden for rezzing a really sweet gazebo partly on her land. Oops.
George and Lynne had mistakenly kissed once, after Lynne had jumped on a ball marked ‘pose’ by a window at one rental and had encouraged George to do the same. Lynne had thought this would be an ideal photo pose but soon found – to her horror – that George had her pressed against the window and was snogging her. Lynne leapt off the pose ball immediately but George’s camera had swung around outside the apartment and he hadn’t seen what had happened. He demanded Lynne get back on so that he could see too, so grudgingly she did until he confirmed he’d seen the mistake also, and they both jumped off again.
This innocent kiss caused a slight awkwardness in their otherwise sunny friendship and Lynne got to wondering why George never flirted with her. Lynne herself could no more stop flirting than breathing, so she wondered if George didn’t fancy her. She asked George about this and George indicated that he was being a gentleman. George considered her question overnight and decided that he should “go for it before someone else did”, so on that romantic note, they set off on a journey of umm… romance, in Second Life.
Hot, hot sex
After a couple of almost naked waterfall showers, and one completely naked one (but only for about a minute), they made arrangements to lose their virtual cherries together one Thursday evening. They both chose outfits (her – lingerie and stockings, him – a toga… yeah, I’m not sure why, but apparently it was very cute) and with much nervous anticipation, began to describe their feelings during lovemaking while awkwardly at it on a freebie sex pool-table. There are photographs of the occasion, not made available for the purposes of this article.
From there, more sex furniture followed. George and Lynne found that free sex furniture often put one of them under the bed while the other sat oddly above waiting for nooky that seemed unlikely to ever happen. They invested in some expensive sex furniture and found the animations more appealing. Their descriptive emoting became more confident and well… downright rude.
George and Lynne went through a short phase of visiting the homes of neighbours when they weren’t home and trying out their sex furniture too. This went quite well, as exciting, naughty, rushed sex can, until one day the house owner rezzed in her house halfway through and George shouted ‘Lynne, home, now!’ They weren’t so keen to do it again after being caught. As time went on, George and Lynne found that Second Life was a great way to fulfill fantasies that would perhaps be impractical in real life. They built themed sets and bought and made costumes to help their sexual journey continue. Of course, with this much planning involved, the sessions themselves were less frequent, but oh my god, so much more involved.
If you’re wondering what types of roleplay, I’d guess that there isn’t much George and Lynne didn’t try. She’s been an air hostess, a slave girl, a princess, a spoiled rich bitch, a customs officer, a policewoman, a bankrobber, a jail warden. He’s been a pirate, a musician, a boy scout, a doctor, an alien, a priest and a professor. And really, that doesn’t even scratch the surface.
Six years of exploring each other’s sexuality and fantasies in Second Life has had quite an impact on them. Many people in Second Life will say outright in their profiles that they are uninterested in SL sex, and, with most of what seems to be on offer, I don’t blame them. I can only report what George and Lynne often say and that is that great sex happens when there is a good connection between the people involved.
George and Lynne began seeing each other in RL, soon after they got together in SL. While it simply wouldn’t do to talk about George and Lynne’s most private life outside of SL, this not being THAT sort of blog, I can say, on their behalves, that sharing their innermost thoughts and desires with each other in Second Life has encouraged them to be open and honest about intimacy in their real life too. So definitely a win/win on that score!
So what are these other bodily explosions?
Oh yes I did mention that. Well, it’s almost entirely unrelated, but George and Lynne sometimes talk about how pleasurable sneezing can be. George is a big advocate of the ‘chase the third sneeze’ route to nasal pleasure and Lynne calls them ‘nosegasms’. George says if you look up on a sunny day, you are more likely to get the golden three-sneeze nosegasm. Just a little tip for you pleasure seekers out there.
So, yeah… there you are. A full and frank confession of the progression of a sex life, through Second Life. If you’re just banging away at someone’s pixels in Second Life and wondering why people do it at all, maybe you’re not doing it right, or just not doing it with the right person.
NOTE: Having given George the rights to check over this blog article before publication, he requested that I change all references to ‘sex’ to read ‘bonding in the biblical way’. I declined, on the grounds that it would compromise the authenticity of the article. Sorry George.