Sexercise – Why do middle aged women put it all out there?

kylie exercise

Quite simply, I’m going to argue with myself – here, live and on this page. I watched Kylie Minogue’s video for her new single – Sexercise, this morning… and I’m undecided on my attitude towards it.

There’s a lot of chat about it – people saying how Kylie shouldn’t have gone for such an overtly sexual and in some ways explicit video to support a (frankly forgettable) pop tune. There are others saying that Kylie is a woman in her 40s who has every right to flaunt what she has in a sexual way and that if it makes others uncomfortable – simples! Just don’t watch it.

And then there are the multitudes of people like me who said ‘Hmm…’ and went away undecided.

In fact, I hmm’d so much about it, I began to wonder if I were obsessed by Kylie herself, if I had chosen the wrong path in life, if I should really chase me down some very petite lady and spend my life with her instead of the big, hairy (and very handsome – before you get all offended, Thom) man I have chosen.

Then I realised! It was ringing a bell. The bell that told me there was something else I should be taking into account, something familiar, something that had happened before. I had déjà vu. And it wasn’t pretty.

chicken in a tard

Yeah… it was Madonna’s video for ‘Hung up’. I did a bit of research and found that Madonna had released that video when she was 46, and that Kylie has done this one aged 45. Double hmm.

Anyone who saw Madonna’s video is probably still reeling from the unexpected and dubious treat of viewing her labia majora at such close quarters. Anyone who loved that should definitely go watch Sexercise, it’s kind of the same, only sweatier, with some distinct lesbian overtones.

Both women I’m sure spend considerable time and effort keeping themselves in shape – as do many pop stars – and no doubt feel that if they have it, they should flaunt it. But I’ve finally decided, I don’t think so.

I think this is the female mid-life crisis. I’m 40 myself and I can all too easily imagine hitting 45 and realising that you are on the downhill slope to 50 and some little alarm going off in your head saying ‘Prove you’re still sexually attractive before you grow a beard – quick!’

I think that’s what these video’s are. They are a plea for the world to say ‘Wow you look good’ but in brackets, unspoken but heard twice as loud are the words (for your age).

Madonna had a rotten backlash from her video with people being… well, very mean in fact, about her and her physique. I think this was unfair. Let’s face it, Madonna looks great (for her age) we just didn’t want to see her rolling around on the floor in her leotard.

I think I’m going to refer to the female midlife crisis as the ‘Leotard effect’ from now on and keep my flaunting to SL, where Meri remains a thankfully pert and unapologetic 25 years old forever.

I like Kylie, I think she’s a perky wee thing with a sunny attitude and I wish her very well. She’s been through her fair share of trials and tribulations and come out of it smiling. But someone, somewhere, is giving her duff advice, I fear, and this video may end up being a test of how much the public love her, rather than the video to make them love her more. When you expose yourself – literally or figuratively – you are open for criticism, and the world loves to criticise.

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