Everybody knows about the ‘Allowed List’ I think, but in case any of you out there don’t, it’s a list of up to five famous people that it’s highly unlikely you would ever meet that, if you are in an otherwise committed relationship, you are allowed to umm…. date.
Course this date might take the form of some rough and tumble in a haystack somewhere, on a sunny day, or is that just in my head?
Anyway, Thom and I keep forgetting to update our allowed lists so I’m doing it here, for the record.
As of May, 2014, Thom’s allowed list comprises:
1) Amber Heard – a currently 28 year old American actress who is usually blonde, but he prefers her dark haired and sultry. he says she has a cute mouth and that this is the main attraction 🙂
2) Cate Blanchett – Famous Aussie actress of 45 years old, Thom loves Cate for her un-cookie cutter good looks and of course, her fabulous acting talent. I agree with him. She’s a very interesting woman.
3) Tilda Swinton – Katherine Matilda ‘Tilda’ Swinton is a 53 year old Scottish actress who is not photogenic… I say this because in every film I saw her in she was magnetic and compelling viewing and yet this was the most flattering recent photograph I could find. Not your traditional buxom blonde, Tilda nevertheless has a ‘je ne sais quoi’ that Thom loves.
4) Sean Young (as she was in Bladerunner) – Here’s where it gets a tiny bit complicated. Thom doesn’t restrict himself to the present day with his ‘allowed list’ but instead chooses to make the likelihood of getting it on with any of these women even more remote by choosing certain people only at a certain point in time (sadly, the past). Here with go with Sean Young who is famous for her role in Bladerunner in 1982. One can also safely assume that this is also dependant upon her not smiling, as she looks an entirely different person when she does.
5) Rachel Ward is a 56 year old English actress, screenwriter etc. who pursued much of her career in Aus. However, back in the early 1980s she made a big splash in a TV mini-series called the Thorn Birds, where an innocent young girl falls for the older Roman Catholic Priest she has known most of her life and they have an affair. Thom of course, does not want present day Rachel quite as much as the sweet young thing she once was, and so we will place her as 1983 Rachel.
So that’s great, all wonderful. I think what bugs him about his ‘allowed’ list is that I don’t dislike them at all, despite him choosing them, yet he likes to run down my choices with a wide variety of insults, many of which I will repeat here 🙂
My current allowed list is therefore as follows:
1) Ryan Gosling, actor aged 33, who is adored by womenfolk, hated by menfolk; Ryan brings together the elements that make women weep with happiness. He’s handsome (but not so much you can’t bear to look at him) has acting talent, looks quiet and a tiny bit moody, intelligent and sexy. Sighs. According to Thom, he’s a jumped-up Disney kid, trying to act deep to get away from his Mickey Mouse roots and is short. (Short is Thom’s standard man insult when I fancy them).
2) Nicholas Hoult – Yes it’s the boy from ‘About A Boy’ except he’s no boy any more. He’s a MAYN (24 years old). And I absolutely discussed this with my nephew who is the same age and he assured me, it’s not gross for me to think Nicholas is fanciable, ‘cus indeed he is! Yay! Of course Thom said the age gap between Nicholas and I was unacceptable but I have this to say: For starters, Nick is closer in age to me than you are to Amber. Oh yeah. For seconds, it’s not sad for an older woman and a younger man to have an attraction. It’s quite nice actually. And for thirds, he’s not short. Just no. He’s hot.
3) Hugh Jackman is a 45 year old Aussie actor who is famous for, well everything he’s done really. I like Hugh. I don’t care that Thom says he is massively out of proportion, his hands bigger than they should be and he also says he has a tiny head and is short. I think Hugh is super. Thom thinks that I think that Hugh has a huge penis, even though I’ve never said anything of the kind. (I do privately think this, but I don’t know how he knows that).
4) A new entry to my allowed list this month is Mads Mikkelson – A Danish actor (aged 49, 6ft tall) currently starring as Dr Hannibal Lecter in the TV Series Hannibal. However clinical and stomach-turning he appears in this role, he’s still a hottie and there’s something reserved and deep in his carved features. I like my men to be hotbeds of passion with a veneer of calm, almost icy, indifference so I can break into them like an Easter Egg with sweets inside.
5) Jason Momoa – another new entry. I’m not usually big on guys with a lot of hair, but for this one, I’ll make an exception. He’s just RAWR. He played Khal Drogo in Game of Thrones until his untimely death. He’s 6’4″, 34 years old and Hawaiian. (Meri comes over all faint).
The more perceptive amongst you may have noticed that my guys actually move… and Thom’s girls do not. This is my sole gesture to nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh.
Who would be on your ‘Allowed list of 5’? Perhaps best get your list in now because you never know who might cross your path and, for some reason you can’t fathom, feel the need to love you long time.
Lots of love to you, Meri ❤