So, I find myself in something of a position today. Yesterday, you may recall, I shared some gems of wisdom with you about getting along with ponies. I joked towards the end that today I would be doing the same style blog, but about men. A couple of my female readers showed some enthusiasm at that theme and so here I am, prepared to place all I know about getting along with boys down on paper – does anybody have a postage stamp handy?
‘So, I was getting along fine with this guy and then he just brushed me off’. Well, the potential issue here ladies is your definition of ‘getting along fine’. If you mean you really liked him, then it shows. Men are a bit scared initially if you seem to really like them – to them it probably means you’re not as great as you once appeared, if you seem to like them so much. Men are programmed to aim as high as possible on the woman scoring scale and so, your enthusiasm might net you a point loss. This might be all it takes for him to realise you are a 7 and he thought you were an 8.5 initially and to wander off looking for something better. Probably a better approach in the early stages is to play it cool, be a tiny bit busy, insult him genially – but not about anything he really cares about like his physique, hair, sense of humour etc. – best stick to unimportant things like politics, religion, terrible flirting etc. Laughing at his jokes is certainly allowed, but make sure he laughs at yours too.
‘So I’ve been seeing this guy for a couple of weeks and now he seems to be running scared, what did I do wrong?’. Men place a lot of store on ‘fun’. Fun to them is the be all and end all in the early stages of a relationship. They want to have fun, be fun and for you to be fun too. They do not want early statements of love – even, and yes this bit is important, even if they are making them. It’s all too easy to go along with a fast pace and think it’s all great but something inside the guy is screaming ‘whoa, whoa now’. And eventually, that will out. He might like you more if you’re the one to say ‘let’s take this slow and have fun’.
‘So, I’ve been living with this guy for a year and now, it’s like I’m almost invisible unless he wants sex’. Yeah, it’s cus he’s relaxed. This, to a man, is basically commitment. It can be a pain in the arse to a woman whose idea of commitment is a mind meld so awesome in content that you barely have to speak, the looks you pass between you are all you need. In this case, what is probably best is that you instigate sex (rather than waiting for him to do so) on those occasions when you feel mentally and emotionally close and reject his advances when you have been forced to watch Match of the Day while crocheting a rug for his mother. In time, he will learn that the happier you feel in his company, the more likely you are to want to get it on with him. He might even grow to enjoy the closeness. Of course, you must take sustenance from those times and simply learn to leave him alone while he farts and watches football or whatever his wont is.
‘So, I try to talk to my boyfriend about the things that upset me, but he doesn’t seem to care. Fred cares, he always listens – would I be better off with a more empathic man like Fred?’ Cast your mind back, way back to the time when you were simply dating your boyfriend, when everything you said was listened to, when you felt interesting and loved. Got it? Good. You can probably remember telling him things that upset you and him listening and being on your side. That was nice huh? So why is it so different now? Why is Fred not the route I’m suggesting you take? Well, once a man has committed to you, your problems are – in his mind – an obstacle to peace and happiness. If you’re unhappy, that’s probably his fault. Men never like to know something is their fault, what they especially do like, however, is when problems are some other guy’s fault and they can comfort you. Beware Fred and try reminding your boyfriend that you need his attention, even in those areas which affect him.
I do know that men also want a deeper connection, to be understood and to be loved, I’m just suggesting that, like with the ponies, they are always wondering where the lion trap is.
I should say I know a lot more about ponies than men. I should also say that this was a slightly tongue-in-cheek look at men and their funny little ways and there are exceptions to every rule 😀
What to wear in Second Life today?
Windows | +Half-Deer+ Faux Window – Sunny Day, prev C88, try (Half Deer Mainstore)
Typewriter | =Eli Baily= Bletchley Typewriter Yellow, prev gacha, try (Eli Baily Mainstore)
Kittens | JIAN Kitten Collection Statics (Fameshed)
Hair | [KoKoLoReS] Aella balayage exclusive colour HUD (KoKoLoReS Mainstore May Group Gift)
Top | Addams Sophia Tank Top [Mait/3Bell/2Sli/5ss] (Addams Mainstore : Addams Marketplace)
Skirt | (fd) Cupcake Skirt Canary (N21)
Bracelets | Mandala Billionaire Fashionista (Mandala Mainstore)
KoKoLoReS has a brand new group gift available at their mainstore and you should go grab it now, it comes with an exclusive balayage colour HUD and it’s adorable and FREEEEE.
Jian’s Kitten collection which is available now at Fameshed is also so very cute and gorgeous, who doesn’t love kittens eh?
Here’s a well lit, no shit picture. You should note the crappy overlap area at the waist which wasn’t there 99% of the time, just in this pose for this picture haha. See the video below for more convincing.
I’d also like to take this opportunity ladies to say it has been nice knowing you. I’m fairly sure that by the dawn tomorrow I will have been lynched by any male readers of this blog who I’m fairly sure don’t read this section at all.