Second Life Fashion from ReadMeri | Ciggie Break

ciggie-break

I know smoking is bad for you, but the break outside to smoke one isn’t. Timeout can save you from all kinds of murderous thoughts. On FB the last couple of days, a friend (Hi Annie!) had been talking about her whiny colleague and how it was driving her nuts. Coincidentally, I’d been doing some research on that very thing. I have a friend who:

a) ALWAYS has problems, and…

b) ALWAYS asks everybody’s advice and then ignores it.

Yeah, frustrating as hell. Because, aside from this, I love my buddy, I thought that perhaps there was something out there which would help her – and help me not scream ‘Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!’ at her, out of the blue one day.

I read about a tribe in Africa, whose women gather together once a week to talk about the things that are worrying them. Each woman gets a chance to talk and for her comrades to offer their thoughts and ideas on how they could be resolved. If a woman brings up her issue at more than two meetings, i.e., if she talks about it at a third meeting, all the other women simply and quietly get up and walk away and reform their circle somewhere else.

I think we’ve all felt like moving our circle somewhere else when a situation just goes on and on, but the writer of the article (I’ve now lost the article, typically, otherwise I’d credit her here) said that a 3-step process was the best to empower and encourage someone to resolve their issues, without taking it all on board yourself.

Firstly, listen to them. It’s tempting to think ‘So and So is off again’ and switch off, but don’t. Listen for a little while and empathise with how they’re feeling. This is as simple as acknowledging them, like… ‘Yes, I can see that you seem very upset about it’ or ‘I can imagine that’s very worrying’.

Secondly, ask them what they intend to do about it. A simple ‘What are you going to do?’ suffices, because it places responsibility and action with the complainer.

Thirdly, if they bring it up again, and it’s obvious they’ve done nothing to resolve it, you say ‘Didn’t we discuss this? Didn’t you say you were going to *insert action here*?’

People get can stuck in a cycle of being miserable and their only comfort is moaning about it, so it’d be good news if you helped them out of that and onto, hopefully, happier times!

What to wear in Second Life today?

Pose | <K&S> Smoking Lady (K&S Mainstore)
Chair | {Reverie} My Hippie Chair – Light Wood – You Got the Music (Reverie Mainstore : Reverie Marketplace)
Ciggie | FNKY! Cigarette (FNKY Marketplace)
Hair | Tableau Vivant Onika Blonds (Tableau Vivant Mainstore)
Tights | AviCandy Knit Tights – Shades of Fall [Mait/Sli/Omeg/Lay] (AviCandy Mainstore : AviCandy Marketplace)
Boots | Ingenue Alma Boots Sky (Ingenue Mainstore)
Dress | {Reverie} Ciara Dress – Blue Aztec wi. optional vest [Mait/2Sli] (Uber)

 About:

Reverie’s Ciara Dress is a simple and elegant cut, which fits well and is beautifully textured. I was immediately drawn to the aztec patterns which have an autumnal feel and my fave colour is blue! You can go get yours at Uber right now, it comes in mesh body sizes for Maitreya Lara and Slink Physique and Hourglass.

I paired them with some AviCandy knit tights, because AviCandy is the best I’ve had when it comes to tights and stockings for mesh bodies. I love the Shades of Fall pack, subtle and rich.

In other news, it’s damn cold here so I’m off to put on the heating (and maybe some knit tights).

Here’s my close ups and ‘well lit, no shit’ shot. Click to see them larger…

 

And finally, my jigging for the rigging video. I can’t see anything taking a leap from this dress, but it’s always good to have a boogie!

 

6 thoughts on “Second Life Fashion from ReadMeri | Ciggie Break

  1. I like that three step thing and I might employ it occasionally. Some folks just enjoy whingeing, though, it makes the day go by faster. That’s a lovely dress by {Reverie} 🙂

    1. Totally agree Moz. I have to admit, I got to the end and thought ‘what if they just begin again’. I mean, my friend still talks about her problems, it’s just that she knows I have limits now on what I’ll listen to, or rather, how many times 😀 And yes, isn’t it. My new Autumn fave. Ta petal! 😀

  2. I sometimes feel as if I am anti-social because I lack patience for this type of thing. I’m not saying i’ve no empathy for friends who are having troubles, just the repetitive nature of some. I have caught myself doing the same so i’m not judging, ha! I tend to try and keep those conversations short though, because i’ve no clue how to end the cycle. Great post!

    1. Ah yeah, we’ve all been there and thank you. I think empathy works for a while till people keep repeating the same mistake and then you feel like saying “ah, come on… Again?”

  3. I thought: I shouldn’t leave any comment today, can’t bother her each single day.. but your post was so “real” and interesting, and I didn’t know that African tribe (and if you recover the name please share), but no surprised at all of their wise lesson :)). I think empathising is soo important, and you highlighted the (false) alternatives pretty well. But at the same time I agree about your point, because THAT is really helping for people I guess, much more than spending endless distracted hours listening to the same song repeating itself. So…. great! I did this sometimes, and it worked some way.
    Oh, and.. THAT dress! On THOSE hair! I’ll definetely head up to Uber ASAP and.. I’m sorry, we’ll have the same blue dress. 🙂 Cheers

    1. Haha yay, I love it if you comment, please never think you can’t reply – otherwise you wonder if anyone ever reads it don’t you? I so wish I could find it again. I just googled how to deal with moaning friends… and then found it, but this time – nada. Gah.

      Yeah this dress is awesome, they have some great other colours too, but we can be twinnies x

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